The Answer Guy Online

Providing information to unwitting victims on a "don't-need-to-know" basis since 1974.

Monday, September 23, 2002

I got some solicitation mail from the American Civil Liberties Union this afternoon in the mail. The envelope wasn't sealed. Which I found hilarious. For a moment I wondered whether John Ashcroft and his people were snooping on me. It's fun to imagine that you're important enough to be spied on.

What the heck, here's the 16th installment in "Tim takes random web quizzes," a little early.
Will Answer Guy Survive A Pit Match Against Clinton And Bush?

0% chance Bush would kill you.
0% chance Clinton would kill you.
0% chance he would sexually harass you.
100% chance you would kill them.
Enter Combat

Now they're really spying on me, I suppose. The big problem with this quiz is that I have about as much chance of being in a steel cage match with U.S. presidents alone as I do of bedding Anna Kournikova. They'd have Secret Service goons around them, I'm sure. That, and the idea of assasinating the president under these sorts of circumstances is scary. It would lead to a Cheney presidency (and here come the jokes about how there already is a Cheney presidency) with all sorts of sympathy popularity boosts. And that's before even thinking about what would happen to me personally. That is so not what I want to be famous for. Is it illegal to state or imply you could kick Dubya's ass in a steel cage match?


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