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Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Sleeping With The Television On

I'm not sure I'd pay for cable television back in Washington.

I used to make a big stink over the fact that DC's main cable company didn't carry Comedy Central. But they show the same SNL reruns over and over again (and so does E! now) and censored versions of the same lame movies over and over again. As far as their original programming, well, "South Park" has clearly jumped the shark (I'm glad I'm not the only person who just doesn't think Mr. Hanky is terribly funny, certainly not worthy of being featured prominently in multiple episodes.) Hearing slightly-less-bland standup routines from stars of bland sitcoms isn't worth the money.

MTV is a totally self-contained universe now. It seems like half their programming is "Best of MTV," consisting of the same programs that fill the other half of MTV's schedule. They had to create another channel (M2) just to show music videos, since even VH1 doesn't show many of them. We don't get M2 here, sadly.

ESPN2 is kinda unecessary, since odds are one of the two ESPN channels is showing something unnecessary and stupid, like "World's Strongest Man" or boat racing or some such thing.

There's a channel devoted to auto racing. If I wanted to see cars drive fast, I'd look down from a freeway overpass.

And a channel devoted to golf. I think I'd rather pluck my eyebrows out one hair at a time than watch golf on TV.

I wonder if holy rollers took over the local cable company or something. The local cable system replaced both the cheesy porn channels, and the Hallmark channel (i.e. 24 hours a day of squeaky clean dreck) replaced one of them. That and there seems to be more channels devoted to religious programming every time I turn the TV on. And no Cinemax, and therefore no Skin-E-Max late nights. Where am I going to see Shannon Tweed now? (And Shannon Whirry - has anyone ever seen them in the same room at the same time?)


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