The Answer Guy Online

Providing information to unwitting victims on a "don't-need-to-know" basis since 1974.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Fair Warning

Do not use your corporate/business/firm/work e-mail for personal messages. Do not use your corporate/business/firm/work e-mail for anything that you wouldn't want your prudish grandmother to see. Do not use your corporate/business/firm/work e-mail for anything that you wouldn't want to see on the front cover of the New York Times.

I cannot stress this enough, people. Your employers can and will find out about it, and that is a situation best described as simply "fraught."

And so will people like my co-workers and I.

My co-workers and I are analyzing corporate e-mail accounts for a merger going on. Today at work we gathered around and shared a few cheap laughs at one employee's expense. Said employee was sending a racy "love" letter, that talked all about how he was leaking semen in his pants just thinking about her. And then the woman responding with how much she wanted him inside her. At first, I thought the references to "him" and "her" indicated an orgy or something - turns out it was just the two of them referring to their genitalia in the third person. Which brought yet more laughs.

This morning, I read about an infamous chain mail that a woman accidentally sent from her work address to too many people. It was a review of her date with some rich guy. It exposed her as a totally shallow, golddigging bitch from hell. (Apparently, the Chicago word for a woman like this is "Trixie.") For instance, she was only "moderately impressed" with the man's boat - although apparently, he kisses well. And now she'll never get a date with anyone else in Chicago. And I think she's being disciplined for using the internet for personal reasons at work.

If you must conduct personal e-mailing at work, use a Yahoo! or Hotmail or something. But, for the love of whomever, don't use your corporate e-mail address.

Actually, now that I think about it, go ahead. I could use a laugh or two.


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