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Sunday, July 13, 2003

Fire! Fire! Fire Is Cool! YES!

Played NTN Playback last night - our squad finished 9th, not enough to make it worthwhile. We need someone that reads Spin or Billboard more often. I'm amazed there were eight bars that beat us - we got points for knowing lyrics to Cole Porter, Louis Armstrong, and Nirvana songs in a row.

Then, after a delicious Key Lime pie at Kramerbooks, we hit Visions cinema for the midnight "kick the keg" movie showing.

For $10, you get a movie, and unlimited use of the keg in the fron row until it's kicked. Giving the film the MST3K treatment (i.e. ridiculing the action or dialogue onscreen) is strongly encouraged. I discovered I have a talent for it, but so did all four of my cohorts - Edmund, Tricia, Justin, and Dave. (Dave badly needs a blog - the whole world should really be able to hear Dave talk the way his friends do.)

Usually, it's terrible movies that make the best candidate for this treatment. What's amazing is how well it worked with last night's selection - "The Terminator," which is far from a terrible movie.

The most obvious target was that it was very easy to ridicule how dated so many aspects of "Terminator" are - the special effects in final scenes after the Terminator loses its human skin, the clothing, and especially the music.

Skinny ties, ozone-killing hairstyles, club music that sounded like cut-rate versions of Loverboy and Pat Benatar, a pet iguana...the list went on and on.

Perhaps because I had a good buzz going by the film's ending, I forgot most of the good lines my colleagues threw out there. I remembered making the fairly obvious crack that serves as the title of this entry as the fuel truck Ah-nuld was driving exploded in a ball of flame and incinerated his flesh off.

And of course, "Terminator," while not exactly a horror film, follows some of the Fundamental Laws of Horror Films:

You get laid, you die. (Yes, Sarah Connor lives, but of the four people seen copulating on-screen, three of them are offed, two of them almost immediately after the deed.)

The black guy always dies.

Never go back to see if the villain is really dead.

Never trust the police. They are either evil, incompetent, or both.

Well worth the $10, even if the beer was Miller High Life.


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