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Sunday, July 13, 2003

Look At Me, I Can Be...Center Field

It appears that the Bernie Williams CD ad is now gone from my blog. (Of course, this will probably bring it back - just like my previous mention of Randy What's-his-name from Texas.)

I am now trying to imagine what a CD of Bernie Williams (center fielder for the New York Yankees) music would sound like. I know Williams is from Puerto Rico, but that doesn't necessarily mean he does Latin music. Does he sing? Does he rap? Does he use Spanglish, does he stick to Spanish, or does he sing/rap in English? Does he play the drums or the guitar or the piano or any other instrument? Does he write any of the songs he performs?

I feel like I should find out these things...

However, I'm almost sure whatever it is, it probably sucks. Why?
• He's a pro athlete. Pop records by pro athletes who want to be pop stars are, amazingly, generally even worse than pop records by actors who want to be pop stars.
Remember Shaquille O'Neal? Apparently, Kobe Bryant recorded some hip hop that made Shaq sound like the second coming of Rakim.
• He's already in his 30s, and he's already a multimillionaire. There are a very small number of quality pop music releases made by people who fit into either of those groups, let alone into both of them.
• He's a Yankee. Do I need to explain this one?

UPDATE: According to the New York Times, he is a Latin jazz/salsa guitarist who has been playing since his youth, he generally writes his own songs, and his stuff has gotten rave reviews from Paul McCartney and Ruben Blades.

I have to admit that this is not what I had pictured in my mind when I think of millionaire dilettantes releasing CDs. I had that mental picture of Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) and Reed Rothschild (John C. Reilly) in a recording studio, coked out of their minds, attempting to sing in "Boogie Nights."

Or someone trying to cross-over like Jennifer Lopez, or Jennifer Love Hewitt. (I'd wonder if any good album has ever been made by anyone named "Jennifer." I remain skeptical.)

Or even more painfully, for a variety of reasons (Patriots fan here), "The Super Bowl Shuffle" and all its demon spawn.

This Bernie Williams project is probably more like pitcher Jack McDowell's "alt-rock" band V.I.E.W. Not something I'd ever actually buy or even choose to play voluntarily, but listenable enough so that rabid fans of his could buy it without embarassing themselves.


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