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Thursday, July 29, 2004

Crazy In Alabama

I worked late last night, so I didn't catch the Democratic National Convention last night. I missed not only John Edwards' speech, but also the "naming of the states," that time-honored tradition whereby each state delegation formally nominates their party's candidate for President.

I imagine the Alabama delegation probably didn't include "The great state of Alabama, where you can walk down the street with a semi-automatic rifle in one hand and a vibrator in the other hand and get arrested...for the vibrator...and only the vibrator!" in their spiel.

But they could have.

Only July 12, 2003, in my analysis of the possible after-effects of Lawrence v. Texas, I wrote the following:

Alabama’s infamous prohibition of sexual devices might be in trouble too. I’m not sure what to say about that, other than to express my sympathy with the people of Alabama, other than whoever is responsible for making Alabama such a ripe target for ridicule by passing this sort of legislation. I will charitably assume that no one actually campaigned on the issue of outlawing the dildo; I would hope that political campaigns in Alabama turned on issues more important or at least less silly.

Apparently the Eleventh Circuit disagrees with me.

This isn't a settled issue necessarily, as the Supreme Court hasn't ruled on this; they may decide to take a pass on it, but if they don't, I'm guessing the law is still in trouble.

But in the meantime, if women (or men) find themselves in need of a dildo to pleasure themselves, they could always use a sniper rifle on the relevant orifice. I just hope they unload the weapons first.


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