The Answer Guy Online

Providing information to unwitting victims on a "don't-need-to-know" basis since 1974.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Kill Your Television

It's always fun to look at the fall prime time lineups offered by the six networks, just to see what new levels of awfulness they have sunk to in order to hold on to the market share of what seems to be an increasingly fickle and yet increasingly gullible public.

In that spirit, a bunch of us, led by all-purpose pop culture maven Mike Burger, every year attempt to predict what's not going to catch on this TV season. Our mission is to choose ten shows, old or new, that will have gone to the idiot box in the sky by this time next year.

Without further ado...here are my entries in the 2004-05 Allison LaPlaca Open!

Drum roll, please!

1-2. Everybody Loves Raymond, NYPD Blue
It's been widely reported that it's the final season for each of these prime time warhorses.

3. Crossing Jordan
Jill Henessey is back, but I imagine that much of this show's already too small audience has forgotten about it in its long absence, and it will die a quick death, just like the murder victims on the show.

4. 8 Simple Rules
The show got a post-John Ritter boost, as people who tuned in to find out how they dealt with Ritter's absence due to his tragic death. But now I think the novelty has worn off, and there's not much reason to continue without him now.

5. Tru Calling
It's always good to pick a show that got saved by the network at the last minute last season, especially one in a bad time slot.

6. Grounded For Life
It doesn't have a full order for the season yet (bad for a returning show), it's on Friday night, and I forgot it was even still on the air until Mr. Burger's website reminded me.

7. Desparate Housewives
Here's a prime time network show with a title that sounds like it belongs on at 1 AM on Cinemax. Plus the commercials were almost as annoying as the ones for NBC's "Hidden Hills" last season. I'm betting "Alias" will be back sooner rather than later.

8. Father of the Pride
I'm joining Kristin in calling "fraught" on this one. It has the makings of a colossal failure - big budget, big hype, a network (NBC) that's something of a kiss of death (remember "God, the Devil, and Bob?" "Stressed Eric?") for animated programming.

9. Commando Nanny
The title reminds me of both Fran Drescher and Hulk Hogan, and neither is something I want to confront regularly. I've had good luck with picking bad titles in the LaPlaca; last year, I decided that "The Brotherhod of Poland, New Hamsphire" and "Rock Me Baby" were the worst sitcom names. Who knew that Gerald "Major Dad" McRaney was still alive?

10. North Shore
The Fox people think they have another "OC" on their hands here. The ratings thusfar suggest otherwise.


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